“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”
A Look At the Research
Individuals in healthy relationships are 50% more likely to report high levels of happiness and well-being compared to those who are single or in unhappy relationships .
Positive relationships can reduce the risk of developing mental health disorders. For example, married individuals are less likely to experience depression than those who are single, divorced, or widowed .
Strong social connections can lead to a 50% increased chance of longevity. People with robust social relationships are more likely to live longer than those who are isolated .
Married individuals or those in committed relationships tend to have lower blood pressure and a lower risk of cardiovascular diseases compared to single individuals .
People with strong social ties are less likely to experience chronic illnesses and have better immune function .
Healthy relationships provide emotional support, which helps individuals manage stress more effectively. Social support can buffer the impact of stress, reducing its harmful effects on health .
Being in a supportive relationship is associated with lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone. This suggests that good relationships can help reduce stress levels .
Positive relationships encourage healthier behaviors. For example, married individuals are more likely to adhere to medical treatments, engage in regular exercise, and avoid risky behaviors like excessive drinking and smoking .
People with strong social connections are more likely to engage in preventative health measures and seek medical help when needed .
Individuals in fulfilling relationships often report higher levels of life satisfaction and emotional well-being. These relationships provide a sense of purpose and belonging, which are crucial for emotional health .
Positive social interactions increase levels of oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and happiness .
What I See In
My Work
In my work as a relationship therapist, I see a lot of common issues people struggle with. One big one is communication—whether it's constant misunderstandings or just not knowing how to express their feelings effectively. Couples often come to me because they're stuck in a cycle of arguments or avoiding conflicts altogether, which just builds resentment over time. Trust is another huge area, especially dealing with the fallout from infidelity or other betrayals. Rebuilding trust can be a long, tough process.
Emotional and physical intimacy is also a frequent concern. Many couples feel disconnected emotionally or notice a decline in physical affection and sexual desire. Life transitions, like having kids or dealing with an empty nest, can strain even the strongest relationships. Individual issues like mental health struggles or low self-esteem often spill over into the relationship, creating additional challenges.
I also see a lot of conflicts stemming from differences in values, parenting styles, or how to deal with extended family. Sometimes it's about setting and respecting boundaries or dealing with codependency. Past trauma and repeating negative relationship patterns are common too.
Commitment issues, cultural and societal pressures, and balancing work and personal life are other areas that often bring people to therapy. Finally, grief and loss, whether from a loved one or a miscarriage, can deeply impact a relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT):
EFT helps couples understand and transform their emotional responses. It focuses on building secure attachments and fostering a deeper emotional connection. By addressing the underlying emotions and patterns, couples can create a stronger, more empathetic bond.
Systems Theory:
This approach views the relationship as a dynamic system where each partner's actions affect the other. It helps couples understand their interactions and patterns within the broader context of their relationship and family dynamics, leading to more effective communication and problem-solving.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT):
DBT teaches skills like emotional regulation, mindfulness, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. These skills help partners manage intense emotions, communicate more effectively, and navigate conflicts with greater resilience and understanding.
Mindfulness of What Is, and Radical Honesty:
Mindfulness practices help individuals stay present and aware of their thoughts, feelings, and reactions. In relationships, this can reduce reactive behaviors, increase empathy, and improve emotional regulation, leading to more thoughtful and compassionate interactions.
Overall, using these techniques and more, whether couples are facing immediate crises or just want to strengthen their bond, relationship therapy helps them navigate these challenges and build healthier, more fulfilling connections.